One of the most important ways to find more happiness in life is to simplify things. At some point in our lives, we've somehow determined that complicating our lives is the best way to live, but I'm starting to see that this approach doesn't lead to true happiness. It just makes life unnecessarily more complicated and more difficult than it has to be.
I read somewhere that the greatest pain we receive in our lives is our dependence and attachment to “things ” and that the real pain and frustration comes from the stories we attach to them. The stories and meanings we attach to events and people makes us forget the simple facts of what is in the present moment.
For example we are driving in our car and someone cuts us off. If you're like me you'd yell at the driver, make some hand gestures and give them all kinds of nicknames.
"How dare they?! Who do they think they are?! They're blind! Idiots!" And so on. We would tell ourselves the other driver doesn't know how to drive or they don't care about anyone else, etc., and all that happened was another operated driver drove in front of us- we don't truly know of any motive or malice intent. It is what it is.
Yet here are the stories we tell ourselves, in part to justify why we feel upset, and in a strange way, control of the situation. By doing this we’ve added fabricated information and unnecessarily complicated the event.
As humans we are always seeking to have some resemblance of control of our situations, because it gives us comfort in a predictable future. It’s our fear of the unknown that forces us to make up stories to give us the feeling we are in control.
The same can be said about the stories we attach to people. When someone acts a certain way, we have no idea of what they are going through in life to behave this way. All we have to go on is our own limited frame of mind, yet when we attach a reason or "story" to the situation, it helps us justify why we feel the way we do, and again, have some sense of control.
What would happen if we take away the stories and need for justification of our own feelings, and accept what is in front of us for what it is and nothing else?
We experience something magical. Over time as we accept more and more things and people for what and who they are without "story" attachment, the more we will start to experience peace and peace of mind.
We start to embrace one of the main principles the stoics lived by, which is to "Focus on What You Can Control".
Ultimately, we can control how we think and act about a situation or person. If we don't put more thought or attachment about a person or situation, that is our choice, and ironically our control.
So how does this help contribute to a happier life? By decluttering and removing what doesn’t serve us (intrusive thoughts and attachments), and making more space for more joy. Simplify life results in less stres, and less stress results in the opportunity to relax more and worry less.
This concept has been made popular when it comes to our home environment by Marie Kondo and the KonMari method. Her methodology of “discarding items that don’t spark joy” is broken down into 6 simple steps which are:
Commit to tidying up
Imagine your ideal lifestyle
Finish discarding first
Tidy by category, not by location
Follow the right order
Ask yourself if it “sparks joy”
These steps could also be applied to our life and mental wellness, and could look something like this:
Commit to simplifying your life
Imagine your ideal lifestyle
Finish discarding useless thoughts & beliefs
Ask yourself if the thought or belief “sparks joy”
Recently I’ve come to appreciate breaking complex tasks and concepts down into three basic steps and have found this method simplifies even the most daunting chores into “manageable” and in some cases enjoyable jobs. I’ve also applied this to my thoughts and asked myself how do I break this concept down to three steps? This works for me and I hope this works for all of you if not some. The trick is to find what you can apply to your life so you can “spark more joy.”
Letting go of clutter helps us feel lighter and less overwhelmed. As a result, we feel more present in the moment, enabling us to connect more deeply with ourselves and others.
Good medicine here 🔥
Very deep and prophetic.