"You are what you believe yourself to be." - Paulo Coelho
Reflection.
It's been said there is no "normal" length of time to spend grieving the loss of loved ones. Two weeks ago our beloved puppy crossed over the rainbow bridge and went from this world to the next. i won't lie and say it wasn't painful. The silence has been truly been deafening and the constant reminder that his paws will never scratch doors, or hearing him panting out of breath because he had to run to greet you is always there. Those sounds and other little actions that at one time were taken for granted are now greatly missed.
After two weeks one recurring theme has been brought up almost on a regular basis: how much he actually got to experience while in our care. As a way to remember him and the good times we had, we started collecting photos and videos we took while with us. What this exercise revealed was pretty amazing.
Tuukka had visited Canada and walked around the Montreal Canadiens ice rink as well as their practice facility. He's been to the top of New Hampshire's Mount Washington, the highest peak in the Northeastern United States, and hiked Mount Major in NH with little assistance.
He's taken a road trip to Florida and visited Walt Disney World, and has left His Mark in NH, MA, PA, DC, MD, DE, VA, GA, NC, SC, and of course FL.
He has enjoyed home-grilled steaks, chicken, and burgers from all the major fast food chains. He had a temporary fight with sight loss but didn't let it stop him from exploring, and after surviving cataract surgery, he went back to being even more curious than ever before.
The photo/ video collection exercise revealed all these memories and more that I had forgotten, but was glad to rediscover. What it made me realize was that grief for me had a lot to do with regret. Regret in not allowing little Tuukka to experience what life had to offer and be able to share those experiences with him. What I had forgotten was that he had experienced so much in his short life and my family, friends and I were able to share those experiences with him. He had done so much, and it was as if he was saying "thanks for that!"
Growth.
After someone passes away, we grieve. It's normal. But what we take from the experience will allow us to grow if we let it and learn from the experience. I choose to remember Tuukka in all he was able to experience and share with me. He was constantly curious and fearless. Living life to his fullest and willing to try new things. im sure if he could speak he would tell us that he could do anything because he believed he could.
As a way to honor his memory and to keep his spirit alive, I've vowed to live my life in his example and be more like him.
How do you honor your loved ones? If you're feeling alone or lost, connect with me- you are not alone and don't have to go through painful experiences alone.
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